Seine

In the movie Now You See Me,
they depict a lovely scene where people lock a padlock
on the river Seine and throw away the keys.

I have no Seine to leave my silent cries at,
no padlocks to lock into a fence forever,
and I'm definitely not about to litter by throwing my keys away.

Thanksgiving has just passed for the Americans (Well, north Americans)
And I know that though we don't celebrate it here in Malaysia,
I thank God that I have someone I trust to whom I will never lie.

It is because of that someone that I don't feel the need to litter the rivers of France
Not only that, I am glad for the conversation we shared.
Witty exchanges are a rare treasure these days.

And now I've come to the point
where I finally found something I cannot reveal.
So what then do I do to unburden myself?

I don't. I simply don't.

Fearless

I'm tired of talking about love for now.
Let today's lecture be on the topic of fear.

Just the other day I had lunch with a lady
(yes, apparently I still manage to find time to go out to lunch with an attractive female)
and one of the things discussed is the difficulty of acquiring a job after university.
Mark ye, undergrads fear unemployment.

And then there's phobias-
Fear of the dark, of spiders, of heights,
of clowns, of zombies, of zombie clowns (yikes!)
The stuff that keep us when we were kids up at night-
Monsters under the bed, creepy crawlies under the sheets.

Then we got older, we became afraid-
of death, someone close to us dying,
of love, and being rejected,
of laughter, directed by others at us.

We became afraid to live

And then we fear becoming irrelevant, of coming out behind
Of being friendless, of being ignored, of being forgotten.

Personally, you know what I am afraid of the most?
I'm afraid I'll never be good enough to live up to my calling.
I'm afraid I'll never achieve my life's purpose.
I'm afraid I'll fall and be unable to finish my race.

Being called into ministry is a comfort and yet a pressure.
You all worry about making a good impression with your employer,
Spare a thought for me! My employer is none other than God Himself!
Now imagine how it feels like if I failed at my job.

You know the one other fear I harboured?
God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone, let Us then make for him a helper"
As of now, I've been roaming the earth without a helper,
And I feel so incomplete. And my fear is that I shall never find a suitable helper for me.

Now THAT'S Scary!

But God did not give us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love and sound judgement.
Challenge yourself today, and be fearless.
I will accomplish my mission,
I will find my helper one day,
I will be fearless.

Gutwrenching

I'm not one to be anxious over the simple things in life.
Most things, I've let them float by me.
Except, y'know, maybe the occasional super-typhoon
Something like the one that's probably hitting the Philippines as I type.
Yeah, things like that, I get terribly anxious about.
Because someone I really love is there,
And God forbid if anything should happen to her-
I would go down to the grave in sorrow.

She's the sweetest soul I know, and when we conversed it brought me great joy.
So dear super heroine of Roxas city, don't you ever let anything happen to you.
God said to not be anxious. But in prayer and supplication I bring my prayers for you to my Lord.

Hanna of the Philippines, I commit you, and your nation to the Lord.
He who calmed the storm on the lake of Galilee will not let the storm overwhelm you.
Join me in prayer, dear readers, for Philippines, for its beautiful islands.

PS. Nikki, Ryza, Michelle, Ruzzel, and all my other Phili friends, you are not forgotten.
I was just using Hanna as an example. ;)

The Restorer of Broken Dreams

He is known by many names
And each time He reveals Himself to His children,
He gains another name as a monument of His goodness.

He showed Himself as a self-sufficient supplier of needs- The I Am.
Or when He established His Lordship and dominion- Jehovah
And in each specific need He's met, we've added suffixes-
Jireh, Rapha, Nissi, Kanna,
Mekaddeskum, Shalom, Shaphat,
Saboath, Raah, Hosenu,
Gibbor. Tsidkenu, Shammah, etc.
Or as a master over all- Adonai
Or in His lofty greatness, the Most High- El-Elyon

Throughout the generations, we have known Him by the many names that we've encountered through Him.
And when He finally came down to us to accomplish His purpose in Person,
We knew Him as Yeshua, or an Anglicized Jesus.

To me, He is my Restorer of Broken Dreams.
Ever had something you really wanted to achieve, however impossible or improbable,
And you had to give it up, shelve it away, and never think of it again?

What if I told you that even if you've discarded it,
There is someone out there who cares about your dreams?

Psalm 20:4
May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.

All your plans succeed?

ALL?

Are we to take this figuratively or shall we step out in faith and take Him at His word?

Psalm 37:4
Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 145:19
He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.

Whoa, now there's something that you have to understand as well.

God will fulfill the desires of those who fear Him, who delights in Him.

But yes yes, you say, even if we meet those 2 criteria,

Then why doesn't He give me a million dollars?

James 4:3
When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

Now that we're on clear on this wish-granting topic, let me testify (whoa, heavy word, I know)

We're in a court of law, and I'm called to the witness stand, and I bear witness of God's faithfulness

And I acknowledge Him as the Restorer of Broken Dreams.

I was imprinted in my youth with the desire to serve in fulltime ministry,

The work of the early mission pioneers have called out to me like a siren song.

But, think realistically, I was told, abandon that dream, I did.

And here I am today, in a strange (to me) and marvellous twist of fate/destiny/God's perfect will,

I'm doing what I've only could dream about 6 months ago. My broken dream was restored.

Now that's old news. Let me tell you of a newer one.

My first guitar. 10 years ago, I slipped and she saved my life, but in exchange for her own.

Distraught, I couldn't bring myself to bury her, and so shelved her away in the storeroom,

Never to sing for me again. Another Broken Dream.

This week as you read this, know that there is a God in heaven who restores your broken dream.

An angel of a man, offered to restore my guitar for free. And thus through him, God salvaged yet another broken dream.

Reader, do not hesitate. What does God say?

Matthew 21:22
If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

Matthew 18:19
"Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.

Matthew 7:8
For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Jeremiah 29:13
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Onward.

The Missions month is over. Now November is upon us.
The opening of the new satellite church is in less than 2 weeks' time.
Things are heating up in intensity. Preparations to be made.

Pray for us. Our worship team is stretched to its seams.
We are experiencing the birth pangs of a ministry.
Will we stand the tests of time, or will we be rebuked by our Lord?

The church is a living breathing extension of God on earth.
We are His ambassadors, and I hope I'm up to the calling I've been given.
I want to write today about... love.

Yes, again.
And no, I promise you there will not be the same emo posts as before.
What is love? Love to me is incomprehensible.

For God is love. And if we cannot hope to comprehend the infinite God
How then can we ever fully understand the concept of Love?
Perfect love drives out fear, and why is that?

Perfect love is selfless. And fear is born of selfishness.
We are afraid of being harmed, but out of love,
A mother will endanger her own life to preserve the life of her child's.

And yet that is not perfect love. Not yet.
Perfect love is this : God who didn't need to die for us, did.
The unnecessary sacrifice. Why us?

Sure, we were flawed. We were wrong.
Not from the start, we were made in perfection.
But we fell, and in our temptation we have condemned ourselves.

He should've started over. Wipe us out. Begin anew.
But He didn't. He couldn't. It was against His nature.
Because His nature is Love. And perfect love never gives up.

Even in His judgement, He saved a remnant.
There always were survivors, because out of Love
He could not fully destroy His beloved.

Ah, now you may think to yourselves.
This is blasphemy. God is all-Powerful, all-Knowing.
How can I dictate what God could or couldn't do.

True, I would never deign to limit a limitless God.
But in His love, His character is based on Love,
And whatever He does, it is Love.