Seasons of Grief

He was standing silent over the casket.
Lost in his thoughts.
Soft I touched his shoulder and alerted him to my presence.

My dear friend of my childhood days
I can sense your grief, and in turn, your loss.
Truly, I wish I knew your grandpa, but the season's come and gone.

And then in my own silence, I too am grieving.
Today's the day- how could I ever forget?
The 10th day of the 10th month.

A year ago, it was so vastly different.
Life was sweet, dripping with the hope of perhaps
The end of my search, the lonely road alone.

A year later, I still walk alone, I am tired.
So tired, of searching after shadows, I am weary.
Too many unfit candidates out there
I won't repeat the same mistakes again.

I have never been too choosy, I just took what life threw me.
Like a beggar picking up the meager earnings of the day.
Enough of it. If that is what it means to love, I shall love selectively.

I used to be the butt of jokes among my friends (sorry, ex friends- they've moved on)
because of my uber low standards when it comes to women.
Not to say that the girls I dated were of low standard,
It was simply that I didn't cared.

Now, I'm all but worn out. I've seen hundreds of girls go by-
Taken ones, Single ones, of ever shape and size, creed and color.
And what I saw filled me with dread.

I fear I shall never find the one I seek.